3 Practices to Break Free From Rumination and Settle Your Mind

by Valerie Dorn

“If we are all going to be destroyed by an atomic bomb, let the bomb, when it comes, find us doing sensible and human things—praying, working, teaching, reading, listening to music, bathing the children, playing tennis, chatting to our friends over a pint and a game of darts—not huddled together like frightened sheep and thinking about bombs. They may break our bodies (a microbe can do that), but they need not dominate our minds.” ~ C.S. Lewis

There is so much happening around us, all the time, that gives rise to fear and anxiety inside us. We feel helpless, hopeless, uncertain of what we can do to protect ourselves and others, and unsure of how to create the change we want to see in the world. Ultimately, there may be very little that we can do on a global scale to effect change, but that does not mean we cannot change things. As Victor Frankl said, “true freedom lies in our mind.”

What does that mean, practically speaking? How can you use your mind to create more freedom and peace of mind for yourself? Here are some ways you can begin harnessing the power of your mind:

Recognize that your thoughts are just that – thoughts.

Just because you have a thought does not mean that it is true or that you must act upon it. In mindfulness practice there is a technique called “mental noting,” where you observe what is arising in your field of awareness and label it. For example, when an unwanted thought arises, instead of letting it capture your complete attention, you just notice it and say “thinking” or “thought”. Similarly, if you find yourself experiencing a strong negative emotion like anger, you can say to yourself, “feeling” or “anger happening”. Mental noting helps you create space between what you are experiencing and how you react to it.

Explore the nature of the mind itself.

Are you the thinker of your thoughts, or the listener of your thoughts? Do you have control over them? Upon closer examination, you’ll realize that you don’t wake up in the morning and say to yourself, “at 2pm today, I am going to think about how stupid I was for what I said during that work meeting.” We are creatures of habit; we may have developed a habit of criticizing ourselves automatically when we make a mistake. Recognizing that we do not consciously choose most of our thoughts can help you have more compassion for yourself.

Recognize the impermanent nature of thoughts.

Once you start paying attention to your thoughts, you will see that they are constantly changing. While certain thoughts and emotions can “hook” us and get us stuck in rumination, eventually we do become unstuck, and our thoughts change. For example, you may be worrying about what will happen if you lose your job, and then your cat jumps in your lap and starts purring. All of a sudden your mind shifts to thinking about how cute your cat is and how much she loves you.

Practice focusing your attention where you want it to go.

Once you realize that you are not your thoughts, that you don’t choose most of them, and that they are constantly changing, you may ask: “what can I do to change or influence them?”

Here are a few ways to shift your focus:

• Expand your perspective: When we feel anxious, our focus narrows on one specific thing, such worrying about AI taking over our job and getting laid off. When you find yourself spiraling, acknowledge the anxious thought – “Yes, that could happen”, but then ask, “What else is true right now?” Create a list in your mind of all the things that are good and true in this very moment: you have a roof over your head, clean water, food in the fridge, and you are physically safe. Each time you find yourself returning to the anxious thought, mentally label it “thinking”, and then go back to listing all of the things that are real, true, and good in this moment.

• Lift your gaze to the horizon: According to neuroscientist Dr. Andrew Huberman, focusing on a single point narrows your field of vision and activates stress circuits. Intentionally looking at the horizon (even through a window) engages your panoramic vision, which interrupts rumination and activates your parasympathetic nervous system (your body’s calming response).

• Engage your senses: Shift your attention to the information coming into awareness through your five senses. Notice the colors in the room, the sound of birds chirping outside, the scent of a candle, the feeling of your clothes against your skin, or the taste of coffee on your tongue.

We may not be able to control the “bombs” that C.S. Lewis spoke of, but we can control where we place our attention. Whether you choose to label your thoughts, look to the horizon, or ground yourself in your senses, remember that your thoughts are transient. Give these practices a try and see what works best for you. Like any other skill, directing your attention takes practice; be patient and kind to yourself.

If you’re ready to dive deeper into these practices and learn how to navigate your thoughts with more ease, I’d love to help. Contact me today to schedule a free 15-minute consultation.